I?ve been paying out a lot lately, and so it comes as no surprise that the roof lost some tiles in the recent bad weather and has caused quite a few more to come loose. This means that the roof needs to be re-tiled and so yet more money to be spent. Regulars here should remember that I live at home with my mum, and so I?m sure we?ll split the cost somehow. I like to pay my way and as well as the usual £120 per month rent, I also buy other things, such as radiators, for the house, and will help out where I can.
I moved back home in 2004 after living away for 5 years, and only envisaged being there for a short time, but my Grandma, who lived there too, was very ill and passed away over the Christmas period. That left just my Mum at home, and then my move became permanent. I was happy I?d moved back then though as I couldn?t have bared it if I?d been away and missed the last few months of my Grandma?s life.
It?s a funny situation to be in at home, because I do have my own flat on the back of the house (living room, bedroom, bathroom), and can remain quite separate, which is what I like, but my mum does get lonely and I try and take this into consideration by going into her part to eat evening meals. I like to have my own space and due to the proximity I don?t feel I do. I like to be messy, I like to not do the washing up, I like to let my clothes pile up until I have none left and am forced to use the washing machine, I like being able to shop for one, I like playing music loud, I like lots of things that I used to do when I lived on my own. My Mum would argue that I am self-contained and can do whatever I want but it is not true and as long as she comes in and tells me to tidy up, or she comes and does my washing, then I will continue to feel this way.
Obviously there are options. I sacrifice my true Independence for the pure fact that I have a roof over my head, which many do not. I could move out and rent somewhere but I would then be in a worse situation as I?d then have a landlord to report to? and I bet he wouldn?t wash my dirty clothes! And of course that still leaves my mum, who would then be alone, in a big house, which used to have four residents but would then only have one, and I don?t think I could do that to her. Well no for the moment.
The house is expensive to run, and I know that most of my Mum?s wages go into keeping the bills payed, and so the solution would seem to be to move to somewhere smaller and use any profit on the house to pay off her debts and live comfortably, but move where?
This is big ol? cans of worms here, and there is no simple solution. I will stay at home because it is the best thing for both me and my Mum. Instead of getting into more debt by paying more rent, or getting my own house (with a huge mortgage), I know that I need to stay around for longer, and my Mum needs it too. Of course it?s not just about money, although many of you who read regularly will think it is, as it seems that every other post I write is about it. I think a few changes need to be made, starting off with me reclaiming a few things, such as washing and ironing my clothes. I had no problem doing all this before, but somehow it?s been transferred onto Mum. Yes I do stuff for her, like being her chauffeur and doing all the cooking in the house, but I still don?t think it all weighs up and she does too much.
OK. So from today I am reclaiming my laundry privileges, and please hold me to it, that is the first step to Independence for both me and my Mum. The next steps would seem to be moving out, but the smart thing is definitely to stay where I am, at least while the housing market is where it is, meaning that single first-time buyers can?t afford to get a new home without risking a lot.
I think you?ve learnt quite a bit about me in that post as opposed to the usual reviews of nights out etc, and so in this time of sharing and opening up, I open the floor to any questions you may have. They may be simple or complex, and I don?t guarantee that I?ll answer them, but fire away in the comments section and you may learn something.